My Current Dream Wedding Dress

Via Dolly Couture:

It's a little too rich for my blood, but I can dream.

Peer Into My Childhood Nightmares

When I was young we didn't watch many scary movies. I didn't even watch Gremlins like all the other kids because I was sure I would never sleep again. I didn't even let my cat, Kitty, sleep with me because of the dream I had in which she morphed into a demon.

I did find myself fascinated with the things that did scare me though, they held some sort of mysticism or power to be able to cause such fright in me. As Jezebel pointed out before Halloween, it was often the things from movies that weren't billed as being scary that had the most terrifying things to hide. Maybe because they were less expected?

I know I wasn't expecting to have the living flying-monkey-crap scared out of my watching Return to Oz, the all-around scariest non-scary movie ever in my opinion. Every single thing about this movie was frightening. Everything in Oz is now backwards and mean, and the scarecrow looks like a demonic circus clown. Oh I could stop there but then I wouldn't get a chance to mention the Wheelers, or the fact that the movie starts with Dorthy receiving shock treatment to erase Oz from her memory. (So kid friendly.) Ahh... see, but the part of the movie that starred in my nightmares was when Dorthy followed the queen past the mirrored rows of severed heads that the she would choose from to exchange with her own head. I believe there was even a part when one or all of them screamed due to a chicken. Long story short I could never own one of those Barbie make-up heads. Fuuuuuck that.

The movie that really mentally gripped me with unending fear was something that I have never watch since early childhood when it did it's damage, so I'm not really even sure if it's laughable or not. It is the TV version of Alice in Wonderland from 1985 featuring Carol Channing. Sounds terrifying right? NO seriously, parts of this may have been charming, I even vaguely remember them as such. But mark my words, when that Jabberwocky comes, you will wet yourself and run from the room screaming as any reasonable person would. This shit is off the charts evil. I distinctly remember Alice being trapped in a looking glass unable to reach her life beyond it no matter how hard she tried. Do they know what that kind of shit does to the mind of a child?? I thought for sure I was going to be trapped inside a mirror at some point in life and tried to figure out ways to prepare for it. I have to admit that that bit was one of the things that fascinated me the most though. It was scary in an existential way, that sort of thing is fun to mull over.

And Jesus - What about G'mork?! Damn you Never Ending Story!!

Yeah I guess it turns out I am still fascinated with the things that scared me, even some of the things that scare me now. I just have to try and remember I find them fascinating while they're in the process of scaring the crap out of me.

Heavy Flo: Flow Chart

(Via Jezebel) The coolest thing I've seen all day. SEE YOU IN HELL PROGESTERONE!! (from Heaven)

Nurse Joan To The Rescue

Ok, Mad Men was extremely and exceedingly awesome on Sunday. And I'm not just saying that because I stare transfixed at every scene soaking in the beauty and majesty and underlying fear and horror of times gone by. Oh no! There is so much more to this show than eye candy, it's got brain candy in spades my friends.

Today I keep thinking about the relationship between Joan and Peggy. Joan is a career woman who none-the-less has always been intent on keeping to her master plan of marrying a doctor and living happily ever after. Peggy is the new modern woman, not content to settle for anything, she is trying her hardest to carve out a little niche for herself in a professional world dominated by men who show her little to no respect.

In the last episode Joan had to face the reality, once again, that her dream life isn't all she thought it would be. Her husband turns out to be a horrible doctor and she doesn't find out he won't be a resident until after she has already quite her job at Sterling Cooper.

Jezebel has an amazing wrap up in which they correctly point out the, "Sadness, anger, weariness yet strength and resolve, all in that one moment" that Joan shows as she learns the news from her husband, stumbling in drunk after drowning his sorrows.

It's the next day however, during Joan's farewell party, that we see her strength in action. Without giving anything aways, even Peggy isn't able to handle the situation at hand, while Joan springs into action like a seasoned pro. Is there a moment when she realizes her own value as a woman in business and that maybe she has taken the wrong path?

I find myself at a loss for words and at a loss of time at the moment. I had just been musing about Joan in my head today and wanted to get this out there to anyone who was interested. Obviously (to anyone who saw the episode) I am leaving out probably the most insane and important things but I didn't really want to spoil it if you haven't seen it. Sufficed to say, I will keep eating my eye and brain candy on a weekly basis, and so should you.

Funny Or Die Uses Funny To Help People Not Die

"Funny or Die" always has it's collective finger on the pulse of current events, and as their

name implies, they don't disappoint with the funny. Here they are fighting for the plight of

the insurance company executive. Because if you spell something wrong, do you really

deserve to have surgery? I don't think so.

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

How Do You Ask Someone To Be The Last Person Killed By Their Insurance Company?

Stop Corporate Death Panels - Public Option Now

Today's Tom Tomorrow

This Modern World is a comic strip full of political satire and biting sarcasm. Sometimes it bites you pretty hard...

Ouch.

Viral Video: Japan Loves Arnold

Yes, this man is a Govenor now...

The Health Care Debate Is Bad For Your Health

I find is very hard to write on the subject of health care reform at all because the realities of the current American health care system become more and more a part of my everyday life as I get older. This happened very quickly in fact. During the election, Obama's promise of universal health care was an abstract concept to me, but one that I felt the need to get behind in order to help people less fortunate than myself I thought. Now though, my job situation has cause this issue to hit home more than ever as I am faced with prospect of not being able to afford my necessary monthly blood pressure medication.

It is because of the personal implication of this issue (not that I am under any illusion that things will instantly change the moment a bill is passed) that I find myself extremely disillusioned and disappointed at a large chunk of the conservative Republican wing of this country. Look I understand politics, and eight years of Bush should have taught me to be shocked by nothing, but it seems to me that the out right lie is becoming an all too common accepted part of our national political discourse.

The mainstream media is only interested in the idea that every story has two sides, no matter how fantastical or flat out fabricated the other side of the issue is. It is now up to us as media consumers to filter out our own bullshit. This takes some discipline and a little more time than most people are willing or able to give during a normal day. That is the reason I am passing on some helpful facts to dispel a lot of the myths and lies that are out there about Health Care reform. My source is moveon.org.

Top Five Health Care Reform Lies—and How to Fight Back

Lie #1: President Obama wants to euthanize your grandma!!!

The truth: These accusations—of "death panels" and forced euthanasia—are, of course, flatly untrue. As an article from the Associated Press puts it: "No 'death panel' in health care bill."⁴ What's the real deal? Reform legislation includes a provision, supported by the AARP, to offer senior citizens access to a professional medical counselor who will provide them with information on preparing a living will and other issues facing older Americans.⁵

Lie #2: Democrats are going to outlaw private insurance and force you into a government plan!!!

The truth: With reform, choices will increase, not decrease. Obama's reform plans will create a health insurance exchange, a one-stop shopping marketplace for affordable, high-quality insurance options.⁶ Included in the exchange is the public health insurance option—a nationwide plan with a broad network of providers—that will operate alongside private insurance companies, injecting competition into the market to drive quality up and costs down.⁷

If you're happy with your coverage and doctors, you can keep them.⁸ But the new public plan will expand choices to millions of businesses or individuals who choose to opt into it, including many who simply can't afford health care now.

Lie #3: President Obama wants to implement Soviet-style rationing!!!

The truth: Health care reform will expand access to high-quality health insurance, and give individuals, families, and businesses more choices for coverage. Right now, big corporations decide whether to give you coverage, what doctors you get to see, and whether a particular procedure or medicine is covered—thatis rationed care. And a big part of reform is to stop that.

Health care reform will do away with some of the most nefarious aspects of this rationing: discrimination for pre-existing conditions, insurers that cancel coverage when you get sick, gender discrimination, and lifetime and yearly limits on coverage.⁹ And outside of that, as noted above, reform will increase insurance options, not force anyone into a rationed situation.

Lie #4: Obama is secretly plotting to cut senior citizens' Medicare benefits!!!

The truth: Health care reform plans will not reduce Medicare benefits.¹⁰ Reform includes savings from Medicare that are unrelated to patient care—in fact, the savings comes from cutting billions of dollars in overpayments to insurance companies and eliminating waste, fraud, and abuse.¹¹

Lie #5: Obama's health care plan will bankrupt America!!!

The truth: We need health care reform now in order to prevent bankruptcy—to control spiraling costs that affect individuals, families, small businesses, and the American economy.

I hope these help dispel any crazy notions you have heard floating around. For a much more entertaining and hilarious look at health care reform and the efforts to stop it than I could ever produce, check out Tuesday's Daily Show.

Phoenix Heats Up The Summer

One of my favorite bands of the Summer has been Phoenix, and their new release Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. They are a French alternative band, and have really accessible dancey fun sound. Their songs have been stuck in my head, and getting me out of my seat on and off for the past couple months now. My favorite track off the album is "1901" for it's pure danceable joy, but it's in close running with the opening number, Lisztomania. Chronicle the "mania" surrounding 1800's piano virtuoso Franz Liszt, and you've already got a leg up over most pop songs in my book. I have included the video for "Lisztomania" to get you acquainted with the lads. I think you'll be coming back for more.

We're All Mad Here

You must go Mad Men yourself! Probably the most fun I had all day was creating a stylized 1960 version of myself. Damn I am hot! Work it cartoon approximation of Nina from the past!

Just More Of Me To Hate Baby

There's a lot of craptactular things going on in the world today. I told my Honey the other day that we should stop referring to things in the media as "current events," because the things we discuss today aren't actual events, they're just "current goings-ons." Reality shows, birthers, and "cankles" do not an event make.

Yes, the cankles things is what drew my attention towards my old post-o-matic today. Golds Gym was already having a Summer promotion to "Say No To Cankles," which if you're not familiar with the term, are apparently the new horrific body part of doom that all women must avoid, to cling to that last shred of self esteem. Which begs the question if there is some sort of ideal calf to ankle ratio that every women should be crying on a stair stepper every night in hopes to achieve? If so, I'm sure Cosmo will fill us in soon.

ABC News jumped on the cankle shaming wagon on Friday with it's article suggesting that "help is available." Thankfully we have Hortense over at Jezebel to thank for putting things in the proper light here. (I really recommend reading their whole take on the article, it's fantastic.)

You know what? There is no fucking way in hell that I should be worrying about the shapeliness of my goddamn ankles. I also should not have been worrying about "muffin-topping" or "thunder thighs," and I suspect most women wouldn't worry about such things either if these fucking trend pieces didn't insist upon drilling it into women's minds that they need to be physically perfect at all times or else. Are "cankles" the new "muffin-tops?" Sure, if you mean "a completely idiotic term coined in order to push diet plans and gym memberships while shaming women into feeling even worse about themselves."

Thank God there are online communities like Jezebel to help bring a little slice of fresh sanity to the giant heaps of reconstituted putrid filth being piled on our media plates daily.

Kitty Detailing While You Wait

We have two cats. Our black cat, Bart, is deathly affraid of the vacuum

cleaner and will go running to the farthest corner of the house as soon

as the switch goes on. Then there's our other cat, Sammy...

Underbelly cleaning prevents rust...

Change attachments to get at those hard to reach places...

What, They Don't Have Red Pens In Alaska?

This is just a sample of Vanity Fair's excellent piece in which they let their editors loose on Sarah Palin's disjointed resignation speech. Let's hope this helps grammar lovers everywhere who listened to more than 30 seconds of this speech, pick up the pieces and move on with their lives.

New Mad Men Poster!

I love Mad Men. Despite my obvious bias due to the fact that we have an special cocktail night just to watch it, I can honestly say that it is one of the best shows on television. The sheer multitudes of retro eye candy featured in every episode certainly doesn't hurt matters either. Here is the new poster just released to promote the upcoming season. See you next month Don Draper.