Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Just More Of Me To Hate Baby

There's a lot of craptactular things going on in the world today. I told my Honey the other day that we should stop referring to things in the media as "current events," because the things we discuss today aren't actual events, they're just "current goings-ons." Reality shows, birthers, and "cankles" do not an event make.

Yes, the cankles things is what drew my attention towards my old post-o-matic today. Golds Gym was already having a Summer promotion to "Say No To Cankles," which if you're not familiar with the term, are apparently the new horrific body part of doom that all women must avoid, to cling to that last shred of self esteem. Which begs the question if there is some sort of ideal calf to ankle ratio that every women should be crying on a stair stepper every night in hopes to achieve? If so, I'm sure Cosmo will fill us in soon.

ABC News jumped on the cankle shaming wagon on Friday with it's article suggesting that "help is available." Thankfully we have Hortense over at Jezebel to thank for putting things in the proper light here. (I really recommend reading their whole take on the article, it's fantastic.)

You know what? There is no fucking way in hell that I should be worrying about the shapeliness of my goddamn ankles. I also should not have been worrying about "muffin-topping" or "thunder thighs," and I suspect most women wouldn't worry about such things either if these fucking trend pieces didn't insist upon drilling it into women's minds that they need to be physically perfect at all times or else. Are "cankles" the new "muffin-tops?" Sure, if you mean "a completely idiotic term coined in order to push diet plans and gym memberships while shaming women into feeling even worse about themselves."
Thank God there are online communities like Jezebel to help bring a little slice of fresh sanity to the giant heaps of reconstituted putrid filth being piled on our media plates daily.

10 comments:

Tamarinara said...

just for the record. i dont have cankles but also just for the record you cant just work them off. you can be hella skinny and still have them. and just for the record i have a huge muffin top!

diana said...

I can see your point, and maybe gyms should just market themselves as a way to be healthy, not as a way to banish body image shame. Skinny ankles and no muffin top doesn't mean that someone is in good cardiovascular shape and strength and what not.

Frances said...

What a completely ridiculous thing to focus on. Golds Gym can put a person on every weight and contraption they have - you can't work cankles off.

And for the record, my muffin top is adorable.

NiNa* said...

Tamarinara & Frances - I don't know what to think of the term muffin top - it always reminds me of Jenna from 30 Rock's horrible song by the same name, but yes I also have one, and I hope it is adorable!

Diana - Yes indeed! We should all be focused on health at any size.

Dollface said...

Cankles, the horror, the horror!

I love how you redefine current events as current goings-on. Who would have thought that celebrity deaths would become major news stories? Only in the 21st century...ugh.

P.S. I really like your blog layout!

NiNa* said...

Thank you Dollface! I know right? You can't even get any real news watching television any more unless you stick to PBS.

Limespark said...

There's just so much crap pushed on women nowadays it's freaking ridiculous! However, regarding cankles, I always though they were just thick ankles. Like, not from being fat- my personally, no matter how skinny I get, my ankles will never be anything approaching delicate. And now how exactly is the gym proposing to work off your thick bones? Maybe they starve you or something...

NiNa* said...

Limespark - You 100% right. Maybe the new hot gym machine is a bone shaver? :P

Limespark said...

Ha, you know, I think I remember somewhere a mention of a surgical procedure to thin ankles... I believe it was in an article about the Japanese practice of stretching their leg bones for height... apparently bones are just soooo last fall now. Vogue will run one issue a year featuring nothing but thick skeletons, ha.

NiNa* said...

Lol Limespark - Scary!