Best Sketch of Saturday Night

Saturday Night Live started it's 36th season this weekend. Hosted by Amy Poehler, and guest staring many of her friends, it was a solid night of comedy. The best sketch, involved a tiny hat, and some lunching ladies, for a truly weird and fun romp that has been missing from the SNL stage for seasons now.

Weddings: 99 Problems But A Dress Ain't One

Planning a wedding sucks, and not in the implied intercourse tween-porn way either. I mean it's probably super fun for fancy ladies with rich Fiancées from France who drink Perrier and laugh at us unwashed masses yearning to have a modest but exciting wedding of our very own, but I'm really not sure who else.

I only know it hasn't really been all that euphoric for me, yet. The first time we tried to do it, we ended up having to cancel it twice. A few years and a parent's wedding go by and all of a sudden it becomes imperative again. Sure it seems fun at first, talking, planning, getting hopes up about the joy that will be involved in making the happy visions in your head become a reality. But the minute the calculator comes out, the faces drop. "OH WOE IS US! We are but mere earthly mortals who apparently are not good enough to bath in the gold leafed bath houses of the Gods!" In less insane terms, you find out that you have to be fraking rich to get married anywhere that is already set up for you to actually have a wedding at.

Sure, we could all of a sudden become DIY warriors with enough creativity, free-time, and ability to work together to accomplish something worthy of a hipster wedding blog, on a budget, but things aren't looking that was at this particular moment.

I believe we're going to have to be happy with what is known as the low end. Yes, those all inclusive packages do make the most sense financially, and at this point I don't really have the luxury of sticking my nose up at the place with plastic cups and stained ceilings, you know what I'm saying?

I just want to this process to become as easy as possible soon, because I'm not really sure how you make it out alive otherwise. Suggestions are welcome!

Though, you probably won't be surprised to find out this whole thing has not dissuaded me from wanting this dress in the least.

Swoon.

I Once Was Lost

Lost made me want to change my life. It made me miss and value my friends and family and people I have lost myself more than I can even put into words. It's the next morning, and here I am sitting at work with tears streaming down my face as I try to reflect on what I supposed was just a TV show, but really, a thing of beauty, a piece of art to be interpreted by every soul differently.

The entire series was an adventure and an epic journey, and the finale did not disappointed in terms of wrapping up the story of saving the island. Sure there were unanswered questions, but there was a mythology to the island that only a little bit of mystery can keep alive. We learned this from watching a show for 6 years where not knowing was often times more fun than knowing.

In fact, knowing is painful. It can be hard to "remember" and to "let go." Hell, it's hard to remember and let go of your favorite show. The finale was a realization of the feeling of being one you experience as part of humanity, of being interconnected with everyone. I saw it, I felt it, and I am indeed having trouble letting go. Being freed is a beautiful experience, but inherently someone gets left behind. We are all Ben, still left with things to deal with, watching our friends move on to pure light and love. What could be more beautifully heartbreaking?

The end was a chorus of Amazing Grace. Once Lost, we're now found, and for some people, that may not mean much. To me, it meant everything.

The Pudding Song - This Is How We Do It

Hi Everybody! Long time no ethereally communicate through cyber space. It's been super busy in Nina Land lately, but I wanted to share with you a little ditty I came up with while making pudding for the Bear with the pulled tooth. It's to the tune of Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It." Mostly because I have a tendency to randomly yell "THIS IS HOW WE DOOO IIIT," while cooking. In the event that I can't get this out of my head for several days, be prepared for a performance!

You don't have to chew it!

(You don't have to chew it)

Shalalalalayeeah!

You don't have to chew it,

it's pudding night,

and some chocolate's right.

The pudding's here, it's the best kind.

So I reach for my box and then I mix it up,

Masticated pudding is the key to my truck.

Pudding's good so don't hate it.

It's creamy and it's thick cause you know this shorty made it.

It's tastes so good in my hood tonight.

So fill up your cup, lift your spoon up,

and let me hear Bill Cosby say...

Got a sugar buzz and it's all because,

(You don't have to chew it!)

I scarfed that pudding like nobody does!

(You don't have to chew it!)

To all my neighbors bright different flavors,

(You don't have to chew it!)

let's flip the snack,

bright the old school back.

Sour Apple Can Suck It

Hey. I liked lime. What was so wrong with it? I don't understand why green gets picked as the candy color to fuck with. As a child, I loved riding to the bank with my dad, and if the teller was nice, she would ask me what color lollipop I wanted. The answered was always the same: "Green please!" And it was lime, people, lime. Not Sour freaking Apple! Dear God I hate sour apple candy. You can be making your was through a bag of gummy bears and BANG get attacked with a blast of green citric acid bile from no where! Then, gagging, you look at the front of the package only to see: "NEW FLAVOR INSIDE!" Now that seems like an exciting prospect right? And normally would be, if the new flavor wasn't a horrible Frankenstein-like creation based, I can only assume, on what a green apple actually taste like. Oh and did we forget to mention, we got rid of one of the best flavors ever so we can steal the color green? Green like Frankenstein!? Eh? EH? I'm clearly on to something.

You remember sweet sweet lime don't you guys? It was that delicious citrus flavor that went so swimmingly with high fructose corn syrup in all it's sweet refined sugary forms. Gummy Bears, Mike and Ikes, Skittles, Lolly Pops, and Starbursts, which I actually don't really eat anymore due to my own self-imposed food nazi-ism, are all delicious in lime. Now lets pretend for the sake of science that I still devour these tasty sweets with the tenacity of a hyper-active 12 year old with ADD. That way my outrage is more justified, and less crazy.

The little citrus bite of lime just isn't good enough anymore, is it? I guess I've seen this coming for a long time. Sour apple gets to be the cool flavor while lime is left on the sidelines. And who exactly decided that lime was now out, and that sour apple is hip, young, and EXTREME? I don't remember them asking me, and I don't see how every fifth Life Saver tasting like appletini-flavored-battery-acid makes them better! And shame on Life Saver for hoping aboard the sour apple bile-train in the first place. Aren't they supposed to be protectors of the classic flavor code we all know and love?

Red is cherry and green is lime people! This has been ingrained in us since the dawn of man! Cavemen would eat red-cherry grubs and green-lime beetles. A tasty snack for the whole cave. Old as time people! We can't turn our backs on our traditional values now. Not at this pivotal moment in history. It's time to tell the sour apple mafia that their reign of terror is over. [Repost from original Nina blog]

Unpalatable, Uncontrollable Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga and I started out as a bad romance, it's true. I underestimated her, made fun of her, and may have even labeled her as gimmicky. I was a monster. That was a very short lived portion of our times together though. I wised up pretty fast to the fact that she's smart, bizarre, and just plain amazingly talented. I have been riding that disco stick ever since.

This past week, the Times of London [Via Jezebel] put into words one reason that I like this lady so much, aside from the fact that I am addicted to her insanely catchy songs of course.

Queue Caitlin Moran of the Times:

Do you know why I love Lady Gaga?

…It's because in the 21st century what women need - second only to some watertight equal-pay legislation and, possibly, slightly wider parking spaces - is other women who are involved in popular culture but don't give a toss what anyone else thinks of them. I don't mean the faux-attitude of, say, the Pussycat Dolls or Fearne Cotton, who manifestly do care what people think, what with their carefully shot publicity material, alluring, non-scary outfits and auras of constantly available, non-threatening, mainstream sexuality. These women are little more liberated than cigarette girls in 1950s nightclubs.

No. I mean women who are right out there, doing what the hell they want, and who would clearly greet any attempt to criticise their appearance or attitude with wildly disbelieving laughter. Women who are unafraid to express aspects of themselves that seem alarming, unpalatable, uncontrollable or just plain horsescaringly bizarre. We need more rolemodels such as this. After all, it's hard to oppress a generation of women who, under the influences of their new heroes, are intent on dressing like hermaphrodite robots with fireworks coming out of their breasts.

Ahhh yes, the future looks bright. Better wear your razor shades.

Movies That Rocked My Decade

I decided to go with a top 20. Ten was not a sufficient number of movies to encapsulate an entire decade. I even had a squeeze a few movie in together to get to a top 20. I think those movies organically go together though, so I am pretty happy with my list. Emphasis on the fact that this is MY list by the way. I am not trying to say that these are necessarily the best movies made in the first decade of the 2000's. These are simply the movies that resonated with me the most. What was my number one you ask? Well I just look Up! What tops your list as best movies of the aughts?

On a side note, I got major grief from the boy friend for trying to combine movies on the list. He seems to think it is blasphemous and should never be done. I'm still going to do it though, I just thought you should know there are purer purists among us.

Pan's Labyrinth - Guillermo del Toro brings the magic so real you can almost touch it and mixes it together with a dark war story adding weight and realism to the fantastical.

Mulholland Drive - Dark, Haunting, and Erotic. Just how I like 'em. Perhaps the movie that most attached itself to my psyche this decade, David Lynch knows what he's doing.

Donnie Darko (and the Director's Cut) - Richard Kelly's dark yet beautify and optimistic masterpiece about the possible end of the world hits every note for me. Never has such a complicated premise been so flawless. I think for the record that watching the original and then the directors cut is the best experience.

Kill Bill Vol. 2 - The second volume of the Kill Bill movies was far superior to my liking. It had more heart and more of a sense of adventure than it's predecessor, dare I say slightly better music also.

American Splendor - Paul Giamatti's turn as Harvey Pekar is sheer brilliance. Seeing the real life characters that make up the movie's landscape appear in the film itself? A joy almost unmatched in any other film this decade.

Almost Famous - Cameron Crow started the decade off right with this semi-autobiographical work about his time as a Rolling Stones reporter. This film hit me at the peak of my classic rock addiction and has burrowed deep into my heart.

Amelie - Pure pixie like joy, shoved into movie form. It makes me want to eat ice cream on a bike on a peer. Also responsible for the birth of the Roaming Gnome.

City of God - Hard hitting gritty real life in the slums of Brazil. It is a testament to this movie that it is about hardships, brutality and violence yet all I remember is the beauty of it all.

The Royal Tenenbaums - Has there ever been a movie with more perfect comedic timing that Wes Anderson's Royal Tenenbaums? I enjoy the light in the movie much more than the dark, but it's paced so well you can't look away.

The Darjeeling Limited - Not as much of a fan favorite as The Royal Tenenbaums, but struck a chord with me on a very personal level. The search for spirituality is true to the hearts of many, and the cinematography is a love letter to the majesty of India, somewhere I have always wanted to travel.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Containing my favorite role for not only Jim Carrey but also Kate Winslet (They always give her such stogy roles!). Joel and Clementine explores the cracks in our minds and relationships and perhaps come to a better understanding of just who We are.

Ghost Town - I have only watched this movie once, and it demands more viewing. From just one watch it was easy to mark this one of the decade's best in Romantic Comedy, but it offers so much more. Honestly this pick is about my love of Ricky Gervais more than anything else, this movie might have gotten bumped for Children of Men if it wasn't for him.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch/ Short Bus - John Cameron Mitchell is one of my heroes. A Fearless film maker, whose films could easily fill two separate spots. The thing that sticks with me the most about this movies is the sense that one must carve out their own family in life to find true happiness. And orgasms don't hurt either.

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - Grossly misrepresented in end of the decade lists, Peter Jackson did us nerdly Tolkien fans proud in my opinion. He proved that it was possibly to adapt something of enormous scale to film and one-upped the entire industry. For me it was Ian McKellens masterful work as Gandalf that set the tone of the films and gave them the depth and heart that kept them true to the text.

Smiley Face/Pineapple Express - Insanely enjoyable films that also could have each had their own place on the list. I could watch them both on repeat. They get grouped together here because they are my pick for the classic stoner movies of the decade. One for girls (mostly in that is stars a girl finally), one for boys (in that is it sort of a mash up of an action movie and a stoner movie), both to be enjoyed by either gender. Watch them, see if I'm wrong!

Up - Oh Up. I've loved other Pixar movies before... but no one has taken my heart and ran with it until I met you. I am honestly getting choked up right now just thinking about the damn movie. Happens every time!

High Fidelity - Seeing that this movie was made in 2000 made the decade seem very long. It seems like I have been watching this movie forever, every time it's on. I don't see that stopping any time soon. It still inspires me, every time I make a list.

Y Tu Mamá También - I am always a sucker for a road movie, especially one featuring copious amounts of sexventure. This spicy little number also represents the fact that I was more interested in foreign films this decade, or at least better educated about them.

Spirited Away - Miyazaki is a modern master to the world of art. His hand drawn animation is hypnotic and breathtakingly beautiful as it chronicles the adventures of a young girl through the land of ghosts. So much more than a simple coming of age film.

Iron Man - This movie rules the land of kick-ass super hero movies that ruled the land of movies in general in the aughts. The acting is phenomenal, the pacing and plot are tight as a thriller, and it certainly doesn't come up short on the BOOM factor either. I don't think anyone could possibly have been disappointed by this film. It made Iron Man an even cooler comic book character, not something you can say for most super hero movies this decade.