The Pudding Song - This Is How We Do It

Hi Everybody! Long time no ethereally communicate through cyber space. It's been super busy in Nina Land lately, but I wanted to share with you a little ditty I came up with while making pudding for the Bear with the pulled tooth. It's to the tune of Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It." Mostly because I have a tendency to randomly yell "THIS IS HOW WE DOOO IIIT," while cooking. In the event that I can't get this out of my head for several days, be prepared for a performance!

You don't have to chew it!

(You don't have to chew it)

Shalalalalayeeah!

You don't have to chew it,

it's pudding night,

and some chocolate's right.

The pudding's here, it's the best kind.

So I reach for my box and then I mix it up,

Masticated pudding is the key to my truck.

Pudding's good so don't hate it.

It's creamy and it's thick cause you know this shorty made it.

It's tastes so good in my hood tonight.

So fill up your cup, lift your spoon up,

and let me hear Bill Cosby say...

Got a sugar buzz and it's all because,

(You don't have to chew it!)

I scarfed that pudding like nobody does!

(You don't have to chew it!)

To all my neighbors bright different flavors,

(You don't have to chew it!)

let's flip the snack,

bright the old school back.

Sour Apple Can Suck It

Hey. I liked lime. What was so wrong with it? I don't understand why green gets picked as the candy color to fuck with. As a child, I loved riding to the bank with my dad, and if the teller was nice, she would ask me what color lollipop I wanted. The answered was always the same: "Green please!" And it was lime, people, lime. Not Sour freaking Apple! Dear God I hate sour apple candy. You can be making your was through a bag of gummy bears and BANG get attacked with a blast of green citric acid bile from no where! Then, gagging, you look at the front of the package only to see: "NEW FLAVOR INSIDE!" Now that seems like an exciting prospect right? And normally would be, if the new flavor wasn't a horrible Frankenstein-like creation based, I can only assume, on what a green apple actually taste like. Oh and did we forget to mention, we got rid of one of the best flavors ever so we can steal the color green? Green like Frankenstein!? Eh? EH? I'm clearly on to something.

You remember sweet sweet lime don't you guys? It was that delicious citrus flavor that went so swimmingly with high fructose corn syrup in all it's sweet refined sugary forms. Gummy Bears, Mike and Ikes, Skittles, Lolly Pops, and Starbursts, which I actually don't really eat anymore due to my own self-imposed food nazi-ism, are all delicious in lime. Now lets pretend for the sake of science that I still devour these tasty sweets with the tenacity of a hyper-active 12 year old with ADD. That way my outrage is more justified, and less crazy.

The little citrus bite of lime just isn't good enough anymore, is it? I guess I've seen this coming for a long time. Sour apple gets to be the cool flavor while lime is left on the sidelines. And who exactly decided that lime was now out, and that sour apple is hip, young, and EXTREME? I don't remember them asking me, and I don't see how every fifth Life Saver tasting like appletini-flavored-battery-acid makes them better! And shame on Life Saver for hoping aboard the sour apple bile-train in the first place. Aren't they supposed to be protectors of the classic flavor code we all know and love?

Red is cherry and green is lime people! This has been ingrained in us since the dawn of man! Cavemen would eat red-cherry grubs and green-lime beetles. A tasty snack for the whole cave. Old as time people! We can't turn our backs on our traditional values now. Not at this pivotal moment in history. It's time to tell the sour apple mafia that their reign of terror is over. [Repost from original Nina blog]

Unpalatable, Uncontrollable Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga and I started out as a bad romance, it's true. I underestimated her, made fun of her, and may have even labeled her as gimmicky. I was a monster. That was a very short lived portion of our times together though. I wised up pretty fast to the fact that she's smart, bizarre, and just plain amazingly talented. I have been riding that disco stick ever since.

This past week, the Times of London [Via Jezebel] put into words one reason that I like this lady so much, aside from the fact that I am addicted to her insanely catchy songs of course.

Queue Caitlin Moran of the Times:

Do you know why I love Lady Gaga?

…It's because in the 21st century what women need - second only to some watertight equal-pay legislation and, possibly, slightly wider parking spaces - is other women who are involved in popular culture but don't give a toss what anyone else thinks of them. I don't mean the faux-attitude of, say, the Pussycat Dolls or Fearne Cotton, who manifestly do care what people think, what with their carefully shot publicity material, alluring, non-scary outfits and auras of constantly available, non-threatening, mainstream sexuality. These women are little more liberated than cigarette girls in 1950s nightclubs.

No. I mean women who are right out there, doing what the hell they want, and who would clearly greet any attempt to criticise their appearance or attitude with wildly disbelieving laughter. Women who are unafraid to express aspects of themselves that seem alarming, unpalatable, uncontrollable or just plain horsescaringly bizarre. We need more rolemodels such as this. After all, it's hard to oppress a generation of women who, under the influences of their new heroes, are intent on dressing like hermaphrodite robots with fireworks coming out of their breasts.

Ahhh yes, the future looks bright. Better wear your razor shades.

Movies That Rocked My Decade

I decided to go with a top 20. Ten was not a sufficient number of movies to encapsulate an entire decade. I even had a squeeze a few movie in together to get to a top 20. I think those movies organically go together though, so I am pretty happy with my list. Emphasis on the fact that this is MY list by the way. I am not trying to say that these are necessarily the best movies made in the first decade of the 2000's. These are simply the movies that resonated with me the most. What was my number one you ask? Well I just look Up! What tops your list as best movies of the aughts?

On a side note, I got major grief from the boy friend for trying to combine movies on the list. He seems to think it is blasphemous and should never be done. I'm still going to do it though, I just thought you should know there are purer purists among us.

Pan's Labyrinth - Guillermo del Toro brings the magic so real you can almost touch it and mixes it together with a dark war story adding weight and realism to the fantastical.

Mulholland Drive - Dark, Haunting, and Erotic. Just how I like 'em. Perhaps the movie that most attached itself to my psyche this decade, David Lynch knows what he's doing.

Donnie Darko (and the Director's Cut) - Richard Kelly's dark yet beautify and optimistic masterpiece about the possible end of the world hits every note for me. Never has such a complicated premise been so flawless. I think for the record that watching the original and then the directors cut is the best experience.

Kill Bill Vol. 2 - The second volume of the Kill Bill movies was far superior to my liking. It had more heart and more of a sense of adventure than it's predecessor, dare I say slightly better music also.

American Splendor - Paul Giamatti's turn as Harvey Pekar is sheer brilliance. Seeing the real life characters that make up the movie's landscape appear in the film itself? A joy almost unmatched in any other film this decade.

Almost Famous - Cameron Crow started the decade off right with this semi-autobiographical work about his time as a Rolling Stones reporter. This film hit me at the peak of my classic rock addiction and has burrowed deep into my heart.

Amelie - Pure pixie like joy, shoved into movie form. It makes me want to eat ice cream on a bike on a peer. Also responsible for the birth of the Roaming Gnome.

City of God - Hard hitting gritty real life in the slums of Brazil. It is a testament to this movie that it is about hardships, brutality and violence yet all I remember is the beauty of it all.

The Royal Tenenbaums - Has there ever been a movie with more perfect comedic timing that Wes Anderson's Royal Tenenbaums? I enjoy the light in the movie much more than the dark, but it's paced so well you can't look away.

The Darjeeling Limited - Not as much of a fan favorite as The Royal Tenenbaums, but struck a chord with me on a very personal level. The search for spirituality is true to the hearts of many, and the cinematography is a love letter to the majesty of India, somewhere I have always wanted to travel.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Containing my favorite role for not only Jim Carrey but also Kate Winslet (They always give her such stogy roles!). Joel and Clementine explores the cracks in our minds and relationships and perhaps come to a better understanding of just who We are.

Ghost Town - I have only watched this movie once, and it demands more viewing. From just one watch it was easy to mark this one of the decade's best in Romantic Comedy, but it offers so much more. Honestly this pick is about my love of Ricky Gervais more than anything else, this movie might have gotten bumped for Children of Men if it wasn't for him.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch/ Short Bus - John Cameron Mitchell is one of my heroes. A Fearless film maker, whose films could easily fill two separate spots. The thing that sticks with me the most about this movies is the sense that one must carve out their own family in life to find true happiness. And orgasms don't hurt either.

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - Grossly misrepresented in end of the decade lists, Peter Jackson did us nerdly Tolkien fans proud in my opinion. He proved that it was possibly to adapt something of enormous scale to film and one-upped the entire industry. For me it was Ian McKellens masterful work as Gandalf that set the tone of the films and gave them the depth and heart that kept them true to the text.

Smiley Face/Pineapple Express - Insanely enjoyable films that also could have each had their own place on the list. I could watch them both on repeat. They get grouped together here because they are my pick for the classic stoner movies of the decade. One for girls (mostly in that is stars a girl finally), one for boys (in that is it sort of a mash up of an action movie and a stoner movie), both to be enjoyed by either gender. Watch them, see if I'm wrong!

Up - Oh Up. I've loved other Pixar movies before... but no one has taken my heart and ran with it until I met you. I am honestly getting choked up right now just thinking about the damn movie. Happens every time!

High Fidelity - Seeing that this movie was made in 2000 made the decade seem very long. It seems like I have been watching this movie forever, every time it's on. I don't see that stopping any time soon. It still inspires me, every time I make a list.

Y Tu Mamá También - I am always a sucker for a road movie, especially one featuring copious amounts of sexventure. This spicy little number also represents the fact that I was more interested in foreign films this decade, or at least better educated about them.

Spirited Away - Miyazaki is a modern master to the world of art. His hand drawn animation is hypnotic and breathtakingly beautiful as it chronicles the adventures of a young girl through the land of ghosts. So much more than a simple coming of age film.

Iron Man - This movie rules the land of kick-ass super hero movies that ruled the land of movies in general in the aughts. The acting is phenomenal, the pacing and plot are tight as a thriller, and it certainly doesn't come up short on the BOOM factor either. I don't think anyone could possibly have been disappointed by this film. It made Iron Man an even cooler comic book character, not something you can say for most super hero movies this decade.

Going Rogue vs. Sanitation

Ever wonder what happened to all those copies of Sarah Palin's new book after it's peak on the best sellers list? Well now we know...

(Via Jezebel)

Lolcat Samus

Why Dog?! Whhhhyy?

Look, I get it. Humans love to be sloth like and sedentary, and I understand the need to anthropomorphize our pets, too make them in our image if you will, but good Lord can we please at least give them an image what won't get their little doggy asses kicked down at the local fire hydrant?! Yes, for the Dog who wished he had nothing but has everything, here comes the Snuggie for Dogs. It's not like they have a "paw free" blanket called a COAT that they wear all the time or anything.

Look at this poor little follow silently pleading for help from the box at my local Walgreens. "Why don't you love me anymore? It it because I look too much like Benji and he reminds you too much of your coke filled escapades in the 80's?" It's always the pets who suffer the most...

Maybe this is for the dog owner who want to put his dog in it's place constantly. "You're a Snuggie wearing wiener dog! That's all you'll ever be! Don't give me those eyes! You know you love your little fleece dungeon! MWaha - haha - hahaha!" (Clearly, the cackle of a sadistic dog owner if I ever typed one.)

If the dachshund didn't look quite as cute with it rolled down to look like a jaunty cowl neck sweater I would consider it animal abuse.

Tina Fey & Steve Carrel In An Action Comedy?!

Yes Please! The trailer for Date Night makes it look like it could be a hilarious movie. We have to wait till April though?

My Current Dream Wedding Dress

Via Dolly Couture:

It's a little too rich for my blood, but I can dream.

Peer Into My Childhood Nightmares

When I was young we didn't watch many scary movies. I didn't even watch Gremlins like all the other kids because I was sure I would never sleep again. I didn't even let my cat, Kitty, sleep with me because of the dream I had in which she morphed into a demon.

I did find myself fascinated with the things that did scare me though, they held some sort of mysticism or power to be able to cause such fright in me. As Jezebel pointed out before Halloween, it was often the things from movies that weren't billed as being scary that had the most terrifying things to hide. Maybe because they were less expected?

I know I wasn't expecting to have the living flying-monkey-crap scared out of my watching Return to Oz, the all-around scariest non-scary movie ever in my opinion. Every single thing about this movie was frightening. Everything in Oz is now backwards and mean, and the scarecrow looks like a demonic circus clown. Oh I could stop there but then I wouldn't get a chance to mention the Wheelers, or the fact that the movie starts with Dorthy receiving shock treatment to erase Oz from her memory. (So kid friendly.) Ahh... see, but the part of the movie that starred in my nightmares was when Dorthy followed the queen past the mirrored rows of severed heads that the she would choose from to exchange with her own head. I believe there was even a part when one or all of them screamed due to a chicken. Long story short I could never own one of those Barbie make-up heads. Fuuuuuck that.

The movie that really mentally gripped me with unending fear was something that I have never watch since early childhood when it did it's damage, so I'm not really even sure if it's laughable or not. It is the TV version of Alice in Wonderland from 1985 featuring Carol Channing. Sounds terrifying right? NO seriously, parts of this may have been charming, I even vaguely remember them as such. But mark my words, when that Jabberwocky comes, you will wet yourself and run from the room screaming as any reasonable person would. This shit is off the charts evil. I distinctly remember Alice being trapped in a looking glass unable to reach her life beyond it no matter how hard she tried. Do they know what that kind of shit does to the mind of a child?? I thought for sure I was going to be trapped inside a mirror at some point in life and tried to figure out ways to prepare for it. I have to admit that that bit was one of the things that fascinated me the most though. It was scary in an existential way, that sort of thing is fun to mull over.

And Jesus - What about G'mork?! Damn you Never Ending Story!!

Yeah I guess it turns out I am still fascinated with the things that scared me, even some of the things that scare me now. I just have to try and remember I find them fascinating while they're in the process of scaring the crap out of me.

Heavy Flo: Flow Chart

(Via Jezebel) The coolest thing I've seen all day. SEE YOU IN HELL PROGESTERONE!! (from Heaven)

Nurse Joan To The Rescue

Ok, Mad Men was extremely and exceedingly awesome on Sunday. And I'm not just saying that because I stare transfixed at every scene soaking in the beauty and majesty and underlying fear and horror of times gone by. Oh no! There is so much more to this show than eye candy, it's got brain candy in spades my friends.

Today I keep thinking about the relationship between Joan and Peggy. Joan is a career woman who none-the-less has always been intent on keeping to her master plan of marrying a doctor and living happily ever after. Peggy is the new modern woman, not content to settle for anything, she is trying her hardest to carve out a little niche for herself in a professional world dominated by men who show her little to no respect.

In the last episode Joan had to face the reality, once again, that her dream life isn't all she thought it would be. Her husband turns out to be a horrible doctor and she doesn't find out he won't be a resident until after she has already quite her job at Sterling Cooper.

Jezebel has an amazing wrap up in which they correctly point out the, "Sadness, anger, weariness yet strength and resolve, all in that one moment" that Joan shows as she learns the news from her husband, stumbling in drunk after drowning his sorrows.

It's the next day however, during Joan's farewell party, that we see her strength in action. Without giving anything aways, even Peggy isn't able to handle the situation at hand, while Joan springs into action like a seasoned pro. Is there a moment when she realizes her own value as a woman in business and that maybe she has taken the wrong path?

I find myself at a loss for words and at a loss of time at the moment. I had just been musing about Joan in my head today and wanted to get this out there to anyone who was interested. Obviously (to anyone who saw the episode) I am leaving out probably the most insane and important things but I didn't really want to spoil it if you haven't seen it. Sufficed to say, I will keep eating my eye and brain candy on a weekly basis, and so should you.

Funny Or Die Uses Funny To Help People Not Die

"Funny or Die" always has it's collective finger on the pulse of current events, and as their

name implies, they don't disappoint with the funny. Here they are fighting for the plight of

the insurance company executive. Because if you spell something wrong, do you really

deserve to have surgery? I don't think so.

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

How Do You Ask Someone To Be The Last Person Killed By Their Insurance Company?

Stop Corporate Death Panels - Public Option Now

Today's Tom Tomorrow

This Modern World is a comic strip full of political satire and biting sarcasm. Sometimes it bites you pretty hard...

Ouch.