Going Rogue vs. Sanitation

Ever wonder what happened to all those copies of Sarah Palin's new book after it's peak on the best sellers list? Well now we know...

(Via Jezebel)

Lolcat Samus

Why Dog?! Whhhhyy?

Look, I get it. Humans love to be sloth like and sedentary, and I understand the need to anthropomorphize our pets, too make them in our image if you will, but good Lord can we please at least give them an image what won't get their little doggy asses kicked down at the local fire hydrant?! Yes, for the Dog who wished he had nothing but has everything, here comes the Snuggie for Dogs. It's not like they have a "paw free" blanket called a COAT that they wear all the time or anything.

Look at this poor little follow silently pleading for help from the box at my local Walgreens. "Why don't you love me anymore? It it because I look too much like Benji and he reminds you too much of your coke filled escapades in the 80's?" It's always the pets who suffer the most...

Maybe this is for the dog owner who want to put his dog in it's place constantly. "You're a Snuggie wearing wiener dog! That's all you'll ever be! Don't give me those eyes! You know you love your little fleece dungeon! MWaha - haha - hahaha!" (Clearly, the cackle of a sadistic dog owner if I ever typed one.)

If the dachshund didn't look quite as cute with it rolled down to look like a jaunty cowl neck sweater I would consider it animal abuse.

Tina Fey & Steve Carrel In An Action Comedy?!

Yes Please! The trailer for Date Night makes it look like it could be a hilarious movie. We have to wait till April though?

My Current Dream Wedding Dress

Via Dolly Couture:

It's a little too rich for my blood, but I can dream.

Peer Into My Childhood Nightmares

When I was young we didn't watch many scary movies. I didn't even watch Gremlins like all the other kids because I was sure I would never sleep again. I didn't even let my cat, Kitty, sleep with me because of the dream I had in which she morphed into a demon.

I did find myself fascinated with the things that did scare me though, they held some sort of mysticism or power to be able to cause such fright in me. As Jezebel pointed out before Halloween, it was often the things from movies that weren't billed as being scary that had the most terrifying things to hide. Maybe because they were less expected?

I know I wasn't expecting to have the living flying-monkey-crap scared out of my watching Return to Oz, the all-around scariest non-scary movie ever in my opinion. Every single thing about this movie was frightening. Everything in Oz is now backwards and mean, and the scarecrow looks like a demonic circus clown. Oh I could stop there but then I wouldn't get a chance to mention the Wheelers, or the fact that the movie starts with Dorthy receiving shock treatment to erase Oz from her memory. (So kid friendly.) Ahh... see, but the part of the movie that starred in my nightmares was when Dorthy followed the queen past the mirrored rows of severed heads that the she would choose from to exchange with her own head. I believe there was even a part when one or all of them screamed due to a chicken. Long story short I could never own one of those Barbie make-up heads. Fuuuuuck that.

The movie that really mentally gripped me with unending fear was something that I have never watch since early childhood when it did it's damage, so I'm not really even sure if it's laughable or not. It is the TV version of Alice in Wonderland from 1985 featuring Carol Channing. Sounds terrifying right? NO seriously, parts of this may have been charming, I even vaguely remember them as such. But mark my words, when that Jabberwocky comes, you will wet yourself and run from the room screaming as any reasonable person would. This shit is off the charts evil. I distinctly remember Alice being trapped in a looking glass unable to reach her life beyond it no matter how hard she tried. Do they know what that kind of shit does to the mind of a child?? I thought for sure I was going to be trapped inside a mirror at some point in life and tried to figure out ways to prepare for it. I have to admit that that bit was one of the things that fascinated me the most though. It was scary in an existential way, that sort of thing is fun to mull over.

And Jesus - What about G'mork?! Damn you Never Ending Story!!

Yeah I guess it turns out I am still fascinated with the things that scared me, even some of the things that scare me now. I just have to try and remember I find them fascinating while they're in the process of scaring the crap out of me.

Heavy Flo: Flow Chart

(Via Jezebel) The coolest thing I've seen all day. SEE YOU IN HELL PROGESTERONE!! (from Heaven)

Nurse Joan To The Rescue

Ok, Mad Men was extremely and exceedingly awesome on Sunday. And I'm not just saying that because I stare transfixed at every scene soaking in the beauty and majesty and underlying fear and horror of times gone by. Oh no! There is so much more to this show than eye candy, it's got brain candy in spades my friends.

Today I keep thinking about the relationship between Joan and Peggy. Joan is a career woman who none-the-less has always been intent on keeping to her master plan of marrying a doctor and living happily ever after. Peggy is the new modern woman, not content to settle for anything, she is trying her hardest to carve out a little niche for herself in a professional world dominated by men who show her little to no respect.

In the last episode Joan had to face the reality, once again, that her dream life isn't all she thought it would be. Her husband turns out to be a horrible doctor and she doesn't find out he won't be a resident until after she has already quite her job at Sterling Cooper.

Jezebel has an amazing wrap up in which they correctly point out the, "Sadness, anger, weariness yet strength and resolve, all in that one moment" that Joan shows as she learns the news from her husband, stumbling in drunk after drowning his sorrows.

It's the next day however, during Joan's farewell party, that we see her strength in action. Without giving anything aways, even Peggy isn't able to handle the situation at hand, while Joan springs into action like a seasoned pro. Is there a moment when she realizes her own value as a woman in business and that maybe she has taken the wrong path?

I find myself at a loss for words and at a loss of time at the moment. I had just been musing about Joan in my head today and wanted to get this out there to anyone who was interested. Obviously (to anyone who saw the episode) I am leaving out probably the most insane and important things but I didn't really want to spoil it if you haven't seen it. Sufficed to say, I will keep eating my eye and brain candy on a weekly basis, and so should you.

Funny Or Die Uses Funny To Help People Not Die

"Funny or Die" always has it's collective finger on the pulse of current events, and as their

name implies, they don't disappoint with the funny. Here they are fighting for the plight of

the insurance company executive. Because if you spell something wrong, do you really

deserve to have surgery? I don't think so.

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

How Do You Ask Someone To Be The Last Person Killed By Their Insurance Company?

Stop Corporate Death Panels - Public Option Now

Today's Tom Tomorrow

This Modern World is a comic strip full of political satire and biting sarcasm. Sometimes it bites you pretty hard...

Ouch.

Viral Video: Japan Loves Arnold

Yes, this man is a Govenor now...

The Health Care Debate Is Bad For Your Health

I find is very hard to write on the subject of health care reform at all because the realities of the current American health care system become more and more a part of my everyday life as I get older. This happened very quickly in fact. During the election, Obama's promise of universal health care was an abstract concept to me, but one that I felt the need to get behind in order to help people less fortunate than myself I thought. Now though, my job situation has cause this issue to hit home more than ever as I am faced with prospect of not being able to afford my necessary monthly blood pressure medication.

It is because of the personal implication of this issue (not that I am under any illusion that things will instantly change the moment a bill is passed) that I find myself extremely disillusioned and disappointed at a large chunk of the conservative Republican wing of this country. Look I understand politics, and eight years of Bush should have taught me to be shocked by nothing, but it seems to me that the out right lie is becoming an all too common accepted part of our national political discourse.

The mainstream media is only interested in the idea that every story has two sides, no matter how fantastical or flat out fabricated the other side of the issue is. It is now up to us as media consumers to filter out our own bullshit. This takes some discipline and a little more time than most people are willing or able to give during a normal day. That is the reason I am passing on some helpful facts to dispel a lot of the myths and lies that are out there about Health Care reform. My source is moveon.org.

Top Five Health Care Reform Lies—and How to Fight Back

Lie #1: President Obama wants to euthanize your grandma!!!

The truth: These accusations—of "death panels" and forced euthanasia—are, of course, flatly untrue. As an article from the Associated Press puts it: "No 'death panel' in health care bill."⁴ What's the real deal? Reform legislation includes a provision, supported by the AARP, to offer senior citizens access to a professional medical counselor who will provide them with information on preparing a living will and other issues facing older Americans.⁵

Lie #2: Democrats are going to outlaw private insurance and force you into a government plan!!!

The truth: With reform, choices will increase, not decrease. Obama's reform plans will create a health insurance exchange, a one-stop shopping marketplace for affordable, high-quality insurance options.⁶ Included in the exchange is the public health insurance option—a nationwide plan with a broad network of providers—that will operate alongside private insurance companies, injecting competition into the market to drive quality up and costs down.⁷

If you're happy with your coverage and doctors, you can keep them.⁸ But the new public plan will expand choices to millions of businesses or individuals who choose to opt into it, including many who simply can't afford health care now.

Lie #3: President Obama wants to implement Soviet-style rationing!!!

The truth: Health care reform will expand access to high-quality health insurance, and give individuals, families, and businesses more choices for coverage. Right now, big corporations decide whether to give you coverage, what doctors you get to see, and whether a particular procedure or medicine is covered—thatis rationed care. And a big part of reform is to stop that.

Health care reform will do away with some of the most nefarious aspects of this rationing: discrimination for pre-existing conditions, insurers that cancel coverage when you get sick, gender discrimination, and lifetime and yearly limits on coverage.⁹ And outside of that, as noted above, reform will increase insurance options, not force anyone into a rationed situation.

Lie #4: Obama is secretly plotting to cut senior citizens' Medicare benefits!!!

The truth: Health care reform plans will not reduce Medicare benefits.¹⁰ Reform includes savings from Medicare that are unrelated to patient care—in fact, the savings comes from cutting billions of dollars in overpayments to insurance companies and eliminating waste, fraud, and abuse.¹¹

Lie #5: Obama's health care plan will bankrupt America!!!

The truth: We need health care reform now in order to prevent bankruptcy—to control spiraling costs that affect individuals, families, small businesses, and the American economy.

I hope these help dispel any crazy notions you have heard floating around. For a much more entertaining and hilarious look at health care reform and the efforts to stop it than I could ever produce, check out Tuesday's Daily Show.

Phoenix Heats Up The Summer

One of my favorite bands of the Summer has been Phoenix, and their new release Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. They are a French alternative band, and have really accessible dancey fun sound. Their songs have been stuck in my head, and getting me out of my seat on and off for the past couple months now. My favorite track off the album is "1901" for it's pure danceable joy, but it's in close running with the opening number, Lisztomania. Chronicle the "mania" surrounding 1800's piano virtuoso Franz Liszt, and you've already got a leg up over most pop songs in my book. I have included the video for "Lisztomania" to get you acquainted with the lads. I think you'll be coming back for more.

We're All Mad Here

You must go Mad Men yourself! Probably the most fun I had all day was creating a stylized 1960 version of myself. Damn I am hot! Work it cartoon approximation of Nina from the past!

Just More Of Me To Hate Baby

There's a lot of craptactular things going on in the world today. I told my Honey the other day that we should stop referring to things in the media as "current events," because the things we discuss today aren't actual events, they're just "current goings-ons." Reality shows, birthers, and "cankles" do not an event make.

Yes, the cankles things is what drew my attention towards my old post-o-matic today. Golds Gym was already having a Summer promotion to "Say No To Cankles," which if you're not familiar with the term, are apparently the new horrific body part of doom that all women must avoid, to cling to that last shred of self esteem. Which begs the question if there is some sort of ideal calf to ankle ratio that every women should be crying on a stair stepper every night in hopes to achieve? If so, I'm sure Cosmo will fill us in soon.

ABC News jumped on the cankle shaming wagon on Friday with it's article suggesting that "help is available." Thankfully we have Hortense over at Jezebel to thank for putting things in the proper light here. (I really recommend reading their whole take on the article, it's fantastic.)

You know what? There is no fucking way in hell that I should be worrying about the shapeliness of my goddamn ankles. I also should not have been worrying about "muffin-topping" or "thunder thighs," and I suspect most women wouldn't worry about such things either if these fucking trend pieces didn't insist upon drilling it into women's minds that they need to be physically perfect at all times or else. Are "cankles" the new "muffin-tops?" Sure, if you mean "a completely idiotic term coined in order to push diet plans and gym memberships while shaming women into feeling even worse about themselves."

Thank God there are online communities like Jezebel to help bring a little slice of fresh sanity to the giant heaps of reconstituted putrid filth being piled on our media plates daily.

Kitty Detailing While You Wait

We have two cats. Our black cat, Bart, is deathly affraid of the vacuum

cleaner and will go running to the farthest corner of the house as soon

as the switch goes on. Then there's our other cat, Sammy...

Underbelly cleaning prevents rust...

Change attachments to get at those hard to reach places...

What, They Don't Have Red Pens In Alaska?

This is just a sample of Vanity Fair's excellent piece in which they let their editors loose on Sarah Palin's disjointed resignation speech. Let's hope this helps grammar lovers everywhere who listened to more than 30 seconds of this speech, pick up the pieces and move on with their lives.

New Mad Men Poster!

I love Mad Men. Despite my obvious bias due to the fact that we have an special cocktail night just to watch it, I can honestly say that it is one of the best shows on television. The sheer multitudes of retro eye candy featured in every episode certainly doesn't hurt matters either. Here is the new poster just released to promote the upcoming season. See you next month Don Draper.

Wow: I Really Like Colons In Titles.. and Summer!

The title says it all.

It's a day of Fri and that is really all it takes to make it a good day. Summer has finally arrived with a week-long, upper 90's heat spell in Chicagoland. I have been taking refuge in sunglasses and swimming pools, and sipping on icy cold beverages. (Doesn't that make my life seem enviable even though I am currently sitting in a cubical waiting for the last 40 minutes of the work week to pass?)

Being out and about more, I haven't been as strict in keeping up with my Primal eating habits. When I go swimming until 8 o'clock at night I usually don't feel much like going home and cooking, but I have been trying to keep in mind all the primal learnings I have amassed. I don't eat any carbs or sugar during the day at all, but does that make any difference when you end up eating chicken nachos for dinner that night? I don't really know the answer to that, but I do know that I enjoy having freedom in all my choices, and until the world is 100% Primal, I find it hard to be so myself. I think that's ok though because I still eat healthy and am exercising much more. I do still shop primal, and the house is free of all junk food aside from our weekend beer or wine splurge. So I've got that going for me. (I'm not going to lie and say I didn't love every second of my red velvet homemade ice cream from last week though. Frozen Memories, best ever!)

In other news, next week I am DJing for my Dads wedding! I have been very excited to get a little road trip in with my Honey and attend an actual event. I love events! I think said Honey though, might be slightly annoyed with the amount for prep time I insist on putting into not only the music, but my outfit, and the trip planning, but I just want everything to awesome and light and fun; no-worries-mate style, Nina style. Ok I may have a slight compulsive need to shove as much fun into the fleetingly short months of Summer as possible, but I find that need pretty valid. It is Summer after all, and as Cyndi Lauper so succinctly put it:

Such wise words.

Michael Jackson: The Music Lives On

Love him or hate him, you can't deny the man could make music. This post is originally from my now defunct music blog, but since Michael Jackson passed on this Thursday, I wanted to re-post it so that everyone can get a chance to check out this excellent tribute to the King of Pop.

Original Post:

It's true. Rhymefest loves Michael Jackson. He's his biggest fan. He says so himself in his tribute to the man behind the mask, Man In The Mirror. Now I like to poke fun at Michael Jackson as much as the next guy, and don't get me wrong, there is plenty of fun being poked in this album, but it's all out of the respect that Rhymefest has for someone who was obviously a big influence in his own life.

I didn't know what to expect from this album. I did notice that it was produced by Mark Ronson, the man at least partially responsible for the fame of acts like Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse, so my expectations climbed a bit. What I didn't know is that I was in for a heartfelt, fun, and sometimes hilarious mix tape. I became of fan of Rhymefest instantly.

Now the best part is that he's not making a dime off this, which explains why he gets away with using Michael Jackson's voice and likeness. Any man doing this work strictly for the love of it is okay in my book. Check out this album, (go here to download it all for FREE) and be sure to listen to the last track "Man in the Mirror," the original song is a classic, and Rhymefest's take updates it and brings it to a new level.

Marriage: That's So Gay

This video features excellent sarcasm and a duck wedding! What more could you ask for? [Via Jezebel]

New Video: Today We Are All Iranians

The Iranian Election has ended up being one of the biggest news stories of the Summer so far. A blatantly fixed election, and years of oppression and resistance to women's right have pushed the people of Iran to rise up and protest. While the opposition candidate, Mir Hossein Mousavi, was not the most progressive choice in the election, he was the clear favorite, and is a huge step in the right direction. His wife is highly educated and a leading proponent of women rights in Iran, and he is very much for moving away from a dictatorial rule.

This video [Via War Room] was posted on Mousavi's Facebook page, and is a very well produced piece, showing without filter what has been going on in Iran all week now. I am personally awed and humbled by the courage of the Iranian people. I hope that they can continue to stand tall and overcome in the face of violence and oppression, and that they know the whole world is listening, and on their side. [Image Via Huffington Post]

The Round Underground

I have been more of a taker than a giver lately. As a way of dealing with stress I have sort of opted out of the whole communitanment business for a little while, instead choosing to absorb all the sweet sweet random content that the interwebs have to offer.

One realm I have been visiting lately is the collection of site on fashion and some on body issue politics known as the land of Fat Fashion.

Let me first just say something that I have been thinking about the idea of self identifying as fat. I know it is the new "queer" in reclaiming smears, but most of me just thinks that fat is something that you have, not something that you are, no matter what weight you happen to be. I do like the attitudes of all the ladies reclaiming the word, and I certainly would begrudge them using the term in any way they like.

Take for instance the ladies over at Fatshionist. They have an amazing community of self called "fatties" who not only discuss the politics, and perils one faces being shaped more Tracy Turnblad than Penny Pingleton, but also share reviews of all online plus-size retailers, and outfit-of-the-day photo diaries. This is the site that opened up the whole world of the Curvaceous Fashion Queens to me, but it's not where my journey ended.

My latest find is a simply gorgeous French fashion blog, Le blog de Big Beauty, almost sounding like a joke name, it is really a looking glass into the magically timeless, romantic world of French fashion. The blog's author is the star of a outfit highlighting photo shoot in many posts, and embodies such a magnetic beauty that you never think for a minute of what size her clothes are. Of course I can't read French so this site is really mostly about the pictures for me.

What a surprise this morning though, when I checked in and not only were there amazing pictures, but also some words that I could read! A magazine called "style," which is where the picture at the top comes in, had an amazing photo shoot of Beth Ditto, and also pictures of her new line for UK store Evans. (Must have purse, jacket, and shoes! Could do without cat t-shirt.) [Via Le blog de Big Beauty - go here for the full post!] [Note: I found out later in the day that these pictures were also run in the Times style section this weekend.]

It's Time To Meet The Muppets On... 30 Rock Tonight?

Is 30 Rock a total rip off of The Muppet Show? No Matter how much you love Tina Fey's zany NBC comedy, Brian Lynch might just have you agreeing with him by the end of his argument. [Brian Lynch via Jezebel]

Liz Lemon as Kermit? Tracy Jordan as Gonzo? I think we all already remember how close Jenna Maroney comes to Ms. Piggy....

More Marilyn?

To honor what would be Marilyn Monroe's 83'rd birthday, Life.com is showing a collection of never been released photos. Apparently they were taken while she was still an unknown, and when the photographer sent the rolls into Life magazine, he received the reply, "Who the hell is Marilyn Monroe?" Do you think anyone has uttered those words since?

Preview of Beatles Rock Band Game from E3

Oh Yes. It will be mine.

45 Beatles tracks! THREE. PART. HARMONY.!! 

It will be the best game ever made and I will love it and hug it and hold it forever.

Viral Video: Literal Toal Eclipse of the Heart

The crazy-ass video for Bonnie Tyler's totally 80's song "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is just begging to be skewered. It features lots of over-the-top  insanity, and non of it is missed by this literal translation of the 1984 video and song. "What the effin crap, that angel guy just felt me up."

The Best Part Of My Day

After the day I had... Let's just say in involved a lot of interaction with many branches of government and my boss, and leave it at that because I didn't come on here just to complain about my little old life, even though it's very tempting. I will say one thing though, this morning I woke up, sat straight up in bed, and the first words out of my mouth were recited from "So I Married an Axe Murderer," "Jane get me off this crazy thing! ...called life."

Anyonthevergeofcrazies, the important thing is that my day ended with a special gift from a special friend, and no that isn't a horribly cliched metaphor for a period. (Aren't you glad? I know I am.) Tamara, one of my oldest and dearest friends, likes to use her fancy Google phone to shoot and send me little videos of her day. Well, she was on her way out of Dean & DeLuca with a delicious cupcake, and on her way back to work. She decides to film what wouldn't normally be that much of an adventure, but after what actually transpires, I think you can say it qualifies. Thank you Tamara for making me almost lizz. (Sound is definitely required for watching this one.)

WTF of the Day: Bear Seasoning

I like a lazy Sunday. This Sunday was indeed very lazy and suited me just fine. I had apple time to slowly wander the isles of my gigantic employee owned grocery store, Woodmans. They just added tons more organic and natural and gluten-free products, and I was super happy to even find Organicville Ketchup, that uses agave nectar instead of sugar!

It turned out though, that the spice isle was hiding the truly rare find of the day. (No, I did not buy it!)

Ahhh... Chef Peterson's Bear Seasoning! A family favorite! I am wondering if there is a part of the country where, much like out beloved Old Bay in Maryland, you must not be caught dead without Chef Peterson's Bear Seasoning in your pantry. Maybe somewhere in Canada? I admit that while I kinda know that yes, people out there do hunt bears, I also figured it was something to be shrouded in shadow. Apparently though...

"...serious hunters hunt bear." It also mentions something there about "The full enjoyment of bear meat...," specifically Black Bear. I personally enjoy my bear meat when it is running, looking after it's kids, hunting salmon, and not dead. But that's just me. Clearly I haven't tried it with Chef Peterson's Bear Seasoning. I wonder if Stephen Colbert is a fan...

Just the Funny Bits: Will Ferrel on SNL

Will Ferrel was the perfect host to end a season of SNL that made me far less angry than many recent seasons. Last week's Justin Timberlake appearance was hard to top, but with a slew of guess stars, Ferrel episode gave old Sexxyback a a run for his money. 

My favorite sketch had to be the revival of celebrity Jeopardy. I was just happy to see Norm McDonald working again, even if it was only a cameo.

Kristen Wiig's freaky character with doll hands, and a creature-like face made a come back this week. The first time around I didn't really like this sketch, and it's really only Will Ferrel's reactions that make this one work, but you might get a laugh out of it.

Other highlights were an enormous musical number about Vietnam that NBC hasn't posted online, and Amy Poehler's return to the news desk! I miss that lady. I watch her on Parks and Recreation but it's not quite the same. That show definitely showcases her cuteness well, but it also zaps some of the pop of her personality. 

Well that was SNL for the season. Next year maybe we will have some more new cast members to look forward to? I'll keep you posted.

Feeling Lost: Required Reading

Man I love Lost. I really love Lost. Nothing like a good mind-fuck to get me hooked for life. I even stuck around through the fourth season of going-nowhere craziness, all to be rewarded with a fantastic season 5 that has me clamoring for all the info I can get. 

I don't want to give away any spoilers here, but if you did watch the finale already and are looking for some great recaps or discussions about theories, have I got some links for you.

Television Without Pity and Jezebel usually have the best recaps, adding a lot of there own wonderful insight, but they're not posted yet. As of right now, you can only get a general Television Without Pity recap. Worth checking out if you feel like you missed something.

Salon always has a great wrap-up of most season finales, and the "Lost" wrap-up was no exception. It's leaves you feeling like you are very smart for enjoying this show, always a plus.

For a lot of crazy talk about what everyone reallllly thinks is going on in the Losties universe, you have to check out the Lostpedia theory page for the finale. So fun, I killed about 2 hours looking up Egyptian gods and researching the book that Jacob was reading... Oh no I've said too much! Check out the links if you want more! 

Clutch Envy

Never let any one tell you that I don't have varied tastes. Here we see the Nina moving from speaking of Spinal Tap to speaking of the most magical clutch style purse ever, that I didn't buy. I took pictures though so I can always remember how pretty it is, and that I didn't really actually need it, I just wanted it, and that things generally need to fill a function for me to spend forty dollars on them. Aesthetically pleasing is excellent and usually a criteria for anything I buy, but this purse didn't have the practicality to make it home with me. That doesn't mean I can't gush over it's beautiousity though!

I love pocket watches, and this purse looks like it has one of it's very own!

But it's actually a little mini change purse!

So amazingly cute! If it had really been a tiny pocket watch in there I would have had to buy it. Even though I guess cell phones sort of made the need for all watches obsolete, let alone pocket watches.... I know! It should have had it's own monocle. Now that's practical.

New Spinal Tap: Back From The Dead!!

Spinal Tap is back from the dead with a new song proclaiming just that! "Back from the Dead" is actually a pretty kick-ass song. It rocks where it should, and brings back some old school 70's mysticism. It's certainly not missing any of the flair of their early work. Just ask bassist Derek Smalls. "When people hear this, they'll think, 'This sounds like a band that probably found it's way to the stage most of the time,' unlike the illusion that's created by that film," Smalls said. "You'll say, 'Hold on, this doesn't sound like a band that lost its way every night. So it's worth it, just for that."

So there you have it - don't miss brand new TAP! They sound like they can make it to the stage now. What more could you ask?

Click here for the exclusive Billboard release of "Back From The Dead."

Dirty Times!

Does it really surprise me that in Germany they have a commercial where Abe Lincoln does the British Queen doggy style to demonstrate money multiplying? [Via Jezebel] Not really. But the excellent quality of the animation kinda does! Crazy old Germans...

Wow. Money is kinda slutty. Oh wait, I already knew that. 

Meanwhile over in America, we're selling vibrators at our local drug stores, but of course that's not what we call them. (Picture from my local Walgreens!)

Ahhh yes, shaped perfect to fit the contour of your... neck.

IT'S SPRING

I just feel so emotionally connected to the season and the weather lately. The sun and the birds and the green bushy flowering things are just making me all giddy on the inside whilst frolicking on the outside. The words "Tra-La-La" spring easily to mind this time of year I am afraid.

Spring is a rebirth, it feels like not just an opportunity, but almost a command to rejuvenate everything about ourselves. The animals and plants are goading us into it with all their chirping and blooming and sparkling in the dewy morning sunlight that they do so well. 

I am heeding the call of nature by trying to be healthy and good to my body, and trying to really soak in and appreciate everything around me, because I know it's fleeting. Hence, the picture posted above! I feel like if I turn around, I will miss everything.

I am really trying to hold on to this connectedness to the world around me. No matter how wired I am to the rest of the world, I am trying not to forget that there's probably unmatched beauty right outside my door. Oh and also that sometimes cliches are cliches because they're true.

Primal Cheatza Pizza (A Recipe in Pictures)

Pizza cravings -Who among us is immune to the siren song of cheese, sauce, and crust? (Well, probably lots of us, but just follow me here.) It's an American staple that is unbelievably hard to avoid, and if you've given up eating grains, and therefore crust, it may be something you're missing very very much.

I think I may have mentioned before that I enjoy cheese. And while I am a huge fan, I'm not sure if I enjoy it quite enough to make my fake pizza, or cheatza as I like to call it, on a regular basis. The crust is made, following this recipe, from about 50% cheese. Don't get me wrong, it's yummy, if you're trying to avoid carbs, gluten, or grains, it's a great way to banish the pizza cravings. It's just a lot of cheese.

Also part of the whole primal eating blueprint is not eating dairy, or just eating raw, grass fed cheese or yogurt once in a while. I admit I have definitely added cheese back into the mix, and I'm trying to stick to those harder to find good kinds. For my cheatza though, the highest quality mozzarella I could find was Kraft made with no hormones or antibiotics. While that's better Velveeta I suppose, it definitely helps put the CHEAT in this cheatza.

First I assembled the crust ingredients: Shredded Cauliflower, Eggs, Mozzarella, and Oregano.

 

Then I (incorrectly) mixed my ingredients. (I guess you were supposed to steam the shredded cauliflower before you mixed it all into a crust dough-like-thing. It still turned out well, but I think this may have contributed to the burnt edges you will see in the pictures.) I then patted the mix down into a pizza shape on a pizza pan.

This is what the crust looked like after about 14 minutes in the oven. So pretty!

Without letting the crust cool, which I figure would help melt the cheese, I piled on my MORE cheese and toppings. I used my old family classic: black olives, green peppers, and onions(these are red).

After about 6 minutes in a hot boiler the cheatza looks just like pizza, although maybe a little more rough around the edges.

Like I said before, there is a lot of cheese on this baby. I really did enjoy it though, I just felt ultra heavy and overly cheeseified after a few pieces. All in all though, well worth the effort. The left overs made for perfect lunches paired with a big salad. 

Mmmmm... Cheatza

Semi-Primal Burgers with Semi-Primal Buns

A.K.A. the best freaking thing I have eaten it a long time! I devoured my burger like a wild primaly animal. Sadly I only had enough turkey to make two of these so we only got one each. I totally could have scarfed at least one more.

The buns I used followed this recipe that I originally found from a link on Mark's Daily Apple. In this application they were a revelation! I couldn't believe how perfect everything tasted together. Eaten alone though, or with just turkey bacon as I tried to do for breakfast yesterday, the buns get a big "Eh". They tasted too dry and eggy for me. For the burgers though, perfect. I actually cut the edges off the buns, where I thought they looked too dry.

Sometimes you just gotta have cheese, right? I mean unless you're vegan or 100% primal, or my friend Shana who had to give it up during her pregnancy. (You are all stronger than I.) I know cheese is not totally Primal, but it's not entirely cheating either. I was really craving a gooey cheese burger, with a little turkey bacon for good measure, and that's exactly what I got.

(Primal?) Bacon Cheese Stuffed Turkey Burgers

1 Pound Ground Turkey (7% fat)

4 Slices Turkey Bacon

1/2 Cup Grated Cheese

1 Onion

1-2 Teaspoons of your favorite Grill Seasoning or Seasoning Blend

A good squirt of Mustard and (Primal) Ketchup and (Primal) Worcestershire Sauce

Sea Salt and Pepper

A little Olive Oil for Cooking

Saute onion over low/medium heat. Cook until they start to smell sweet. You don't want to brown them, just cook them slowly to the point of carmelization. (About 10 minutes) About half way through the cooking add the grill seasoning to the onions, this will give the spices a chance to mellow.

Cook your bacon in the pan while the onions cool to the side.

Mix together turkey meat, condiments, salt & pepper, and onion mixture once cool. Don't over mix, it will mess up your burger texture. Good texture is a burger's friend.

Place crumbled bacon and grated cheese on a plate next to you, where you won't contaminate more than you need with your raw turkey hands.

Form turkey mixture into four equalish parts. Grab one part, form it into a ball, then flatten it with your hand. Take a good amount of cheese and crumbled bacon and stick it right in the middle of that flatten piece of turkey. Fold it over and pat into a burger-like shape. The less holes the better, unless you like a pool of runny cheese cooking under your burger, which you might!

Heat a little olive oil in your pan over medium-high heat, you want a fairly hot pan - burgers should sizzle when they hit it. Cook the burgers, lowering the heat to medium after about 5 minutes. Flip when browned on the bottom. Cook second side on Medium for about 5-10 minutes til cooked through. (burger will be sort of firm to the touch and juices will run clear) Let them rest for a few minutes before serving.

Assemble your burgers.

Go, "YUM!"

All in all this was one of the most satisfying things I have had in a long time. I probably won't make them this decedent all the time, but there are a million variations to try, and now that I have a bun to use as a building block, I feel like the possibilities are endless.

Another Reason I Enjoy Shopping at Trader Joes

Horsin' Around with Hair

In Touch Weekly did something very strange to some horses [Via Jezebel]...

I keep going between liking them in a "Oh! Look at the pretty pretty My Little Ponies!" sort of way, and laughing in disbelief. I would probably think it was less odd if a horse stylist had done this instead of a human. I supposed opposable thumbs are sort of a requirement for doing extensive braid work though.

Frak You and Your Fraking Pizza

Beware the nerdulence of this post. As of now we're not eating pizza in my house hold due to our primal cave-people like eating, but once upon a time (last month) we feasted on the sweet sweet cheesy doughiness of Nerddom. You see Battlestar Galactica was one of our most favoritest shows, and when the last episode aired last month we wanted to celebrate. We got some sort of alcoholic drink I believe, and set out to make the best pizzas in all the universe. Of course if you've never seen this show, this post will probably mean nothing to you, and the pizzas will just be confusing. I recommend catching up on all seasons of the show, and then coming back to bask in our cheestastic glutenous glory. Even if you have no idea what the giant robot head is (it's an original model cylon!) you can at least figure out what frak means, right?

Really more food should be Sci-Fi themed. What about a Dr. Who scarf fruit roll up?

Recipe: Primal Apple Crisp

I have had a severe lack of dessert since the start of my primal living experiment, which ended up lasting much longer than a week. I hopefully have broken through the wall of grumpiness and depression which may have been cause by sugar withdrawals, but that doesn't mean I have forsaken an after dinner treat completely. I've been eating a lot of fruit when I want a treat, but sometimes that just doesn't cut it.

I have been wanting to make apple crisp for a while. I think I did find a straight forward primal recipe for one at some point, but yesterday when I went to make it, I couldn't fine one recipe that didn't have something verboten in it. I basically dissected and picked apart several recipes from around the web, and used things I  had on hand already, creating something all my own.

Nina's Primal Apple Crisp

Topping:

1 Cup Nuts (A lot of recipes call for all almonds, I used Almonds, Pecans, and some Macadamia)

3 Tablespoons Arrowroot

1/4 teaspoon Salt (I omitted this because some of my nuts were salted)

4 Tablespoons Cold Butter (sub coconut oil to Veganize!)

1 teaspoon Vanilla

1/4 Cup Agave Nectar*

Fruit:

5-6 Apples (I used Granny Smiths, McIntoshs, and Galas)

Juice and Zest of 1 Lime & 1/2 Orange (most recipes called for lemon but I used what I had)

1 Tablespoon Arrowroot

2 Tablespoons Agave

1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon Fresh Nutmeg

*I use agave nectar in any recipe that calls for cooked honey. Cooked honey is considered poisonous in Ayurveda. Which my father has adamantly reminded me of my whole life. I'd rather not temp fate.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Mix dry ingredients of topping mixture in work bowl of food processor, pulse till nuts are small chunks. Add agave, butter in small pieces, and vanilla. Pulse until incorporated, butter may still be chunky.

Peel and chop apples in a separate bowl. Add juice, zest, arrowroot, agave, cinnamon, and nutmeg, mix.

In a sprayed or buttered baking dish, add apples, then top with blobs of topping mixture.

Bake for 45 minutes, til golden brown and bubbly.

This was good. Very very good. It's not as sweet as traditional apple crisp, but I thought you really got a feeling for a true sweetness of the apples without missing out on the sweet sweet goo that you have come to expect with a good apple crisp. The nuts got all toasty (be careful not to burn them) and made for almost a cookie tasting topping. We just wanted to eat only this for dinner when it came out of the oven. I will make this again.. and again.. and again.

Our Map of Middle Earth

(This Lord of the Rings map belonged to my uncle in the '60s.)

Just the Funny Bits: Teabagging

You would have to be living in a cave (with no wifi) this week to not have heard the term "teabagging" at least 100 times. Fox News and some other right wing groups organized "tea parties" on tax day, to protest taxes and big government. Without barrels of loose tea around to dump into harbors, landlocked protesters took to throwing or wearing old tea bags. Many protesters talked about "teabagging Barack Obama" without knowledge of the terms common street (or bedroom) usage. 

(Ok, some of them knew.)

MSNBC got on board early with the mocking. Rachel Maddow and a guest spent a good ten minutes trying to cram the words "tea bagging" as many time as possible into one segment without giggling, and David Shuster quipped the winning pun, "if you are planning simultaneous tea bagging all around the country, you're going to need a Dick Armey." Ahhh yes, that one was good. The Daily Show even mused that MSNBC was the new Daily Show, with Jon Stewart refusing to go back to waiting tables. I wouldn't worry Jon, your scrotal humor crown is in no danger, not with hilarious field reporting the likes of John Oliver's on Thursday night. (I have the full episode here, John Oliver's is the second segment.)

I thought for sure the Daily Show had put the tea bag to rest (it's had a busy week), but not so. Today I find people [BoingBoing] going to the tea bagging source, who is apparently John Waters, to ask where the term originates. 

JOHN WATERS: "Teabagging" is by my definition the act of dragging your testicles across your partner's forehead. In the UK it is dipping your testicles in your partner's mouth. I didn't invent the term or the act but DID introduce it to film in my movie "Pecker." "Teabagging" was a popular dance step that male go-go boys did to their customers for tips at The Atlantis, a now defunct bar in Baltimore. Hope this helps. -- John Waters

John Waters is always so full of helpful answers to sleazy questions! Here's a clip from what is one of our family favorites, Pecker [also BoingBoing], if you didn't make it to the protests, you get a chance to see some tea bagging in action. (See it's so hard not to make a bad joke!)

In Local News: Fire

It's not anywhere near as interesting as when my actual building was on fire and we had to evacuate:

But the field next to our office is currently on fire. All I could get was a bad cell phone picture, I'm not really sure if you can tell there is fire there.

My on the scene reporting has gathered that they are just letting the fire burn itself out and that the fire truck isn't even going to do anything cool.

Bill O'Reilly Indroduces You to the World of Nintendo

This video is awesome for two reason, first it is insanely retro and brings me back to the early days of Nintendo, it's hilarious to see how adults found this newfangled contraption so bizarre. Even more bizarre, and the second reason this video is awesome, is that Bill O'Reilly is the guy introducing the segment! Also at the end he complains that "Lincoln Logs" are the way to go. It's nice to see that he hated newness even back then, it's really sort of frightening to watch him try and pretend to be nice though. He is lucky they invented Fox News as a home for people like him or his head might have exploded long ago.

Zooey Daschanel Makes Cotton More Cute

Usually I am trying to forgive or forget my favorite celebrity's shilling of some random product. Of course Zooey Deschenel has some sort of magic power where everything she does makes you love her more. This commercial for cotton is just one more of those things. I don't' really have anything against cotton either, in fact I would say it is my most worn, if not my favorite fabric. Watching Zooey prance around in adorable cotton outfits and sing a little ditty about it seems to put a big smile on my face. How is she so fricking cute?

Raw Talent: Susan Boyle

I didn't link this video yesterday because I figured it would be on every website imaginable by today. I am posting it now though because I really want to make sure that no one misses it. This woman, Susan Boyle, is amazing. When she walks on to the stage of Britain's Got Talent, everyone laughs at her, thinking she is one of the many freaks they take delight in mocking on these shows. Then, she opens her mouth to sing, and boy does she show them. I've watched this video about three times now, and I love this lady more every time. 

Enjoy! (YouTube)

How to Make a Night to Remember Even More Memorable:

Behold: The Vulva Prom Dress! The designers at Light in the Box were trying to make a heart shaped ruffle, but ended up with oh so much more. What say you? If a girl had walked into your high school prom wearing this, would you have thought she was so cool that she was in on the joke and doing it as an ironic nod to prom night, or was she just helping her date along with a handy visual aid?

My Primal Week and Beyond

One week down. As of Tuesday my week experiment in primal living is complete. I've read lot, cooked and ate a lot, and lost a lot of weight without much effort. Ahh, it is that last part there that probably has me stuck on the primal living kick my friends. I mean there are not many among us not looking for that magic potion that makes the pounds fly off. I think going primal is probably closest thing to that potion that I have seen work on myself (Okay besides trying fen-phen back in the day, but permanent heart damage probably isn't a good trade off for weight loss).

I spent much of this week compiling information on what exactly the parameters of primal living were, then I stumbled upon a really good explanation and starting point at Mark Sisson's Daily Apple, one of the best sites all round for information on primal diet and fitness. 

Mike and I were doing great all week, especially Mike. He has been cooking and getting creative like nobodies business (cept mine!) and says he has more energy than he has had in years. He is really a true convert, he hasn't had an eating plan click with his physiology the way this one has ever before. I feel like it's been a little harder for me though, honestly my mind keep trying to think of excuses of why I need carbs, and my monthly chocolate cravings were leading me to the edge of insanity for a few nights there. 

Here is some pretty pictures of bunless burgers Mike made us, just to break up the Nina-rambles.

Saturday was our "cheat day" due to the fact that we were taking Mike's younger brother, and his girl friend, out to Chinese. We ate noodles, a little rice, and what I'm sure is a large about of sugar in the sauces. We both felt heavy and tired that night, and I've convinced myself that this cheat is also the reason I soon after got so deathly ill. I am usually the one person left standing while some awful cold or flu mows down my compatriots, this time though I was a casualty; it was bad. 

I was down for two whole days, only seeing the sun when Mike was nice enough to prop me on the couch and open the curtains so I could watch the sunset and the rainbows from my prism dance across the walls. The rest of my time since Monday night has been spent in bed, sleeping, coughing, or whining. Today though, I am back at work, still far from 100% but sometimes you just can't stay in bed any longer.

Since my week ended on such a sickly note, it's hard for me to take stock of how I am truly feeling. I do know that I seemed to have lost my low blood sugar crankiness from not eating. I just get sort of a general feeling of hunger in my stomach without the swimmy headed nauseous feeling that used to come with skipping meals or waiting too long to eat. This is good, now if the carb and chocolate cravings would go away, and the lingering sense that I am being deprived of the foodie world I love so dearly, I would be golden. Fucking golden. 

Bottom line? We're sticking with it.